Rage against the Erasmus

I'm dedicating this blog to hating Erasmus, and if any of you contradict me, so help me, I will lose it. This is for all the four years in which unknowingly I attended these wonderful parties and when I wasted at least half of my college nights talking to boring ugly people.

First of all, why is it that all the Erasmuses look the same? They look the same, they act the same, they speak the same in their different languages, but neither of them has got a clue of what the other is saying. It's like Babel in a room, the Bible happening all over again, the flood, the languages, the naive people beliving everything they're said...

Being Erasmus is almost like being socially promiscuous. You talk to people you're never gonna see again, and they never call back :D You never call back either. During an Erasmus party, which by the way looks more like an exhibition of live statues blabering, you try to be honest and sometimes you really think it: "Let me get your mail, I'll keep in touch, I'll write to you! I will, i swear I won't, oupsy, will I meant will."

And what's with The guy/chick that's like the heart of everything. Everybody's like: "Oh, this party sucks, but wait until Brad drops in!" "Well, honey, unless it's Brad Pitt we're talking about, I ain't interested in no Brad. And if the freakin' bitch ain't mother fuckin' Angelina, she ain't worth shit." You know them, they walk around with an undeserved feeling of stardom, and if you don't know their names they start laughing in an almost offended way. That's when I almost feel like saying: "Oh, I didn't realise, you must be the jackass everyone was laughing about earlier"

I wish they allowed us to carry guns in Erasmus parties. I'd be a more notorious mass-murderer than Charles Manson and P. Diddy combined, should I only shoot a person every time they adressed to me as Soweararyoufro-ohromania!. What's with the astonishment, by the way. Ooooh, Romania, and they look around for a tent, a dozen kids and check if I'm bear-footed. The next question would normally be "So is it true that..." and then we have the options!
NUMBER THREE: ...people in Romania live in huts?
NUMBER TWO: ...you don't have electricity?
NUMBER ONE: ...that you have bears walking around in cities? - it's one! just one city! and it so happens it was the city I lived in - obviously, this here, what I'm saying, I've repeated it for at least 256 times - and they come from the woods... it happens in the US as well, it's not THAT speacial! jeeese.
I could also ask Erasmuses stupid questions like that. To French: So, is it true that you still don't know the world has invented the deodorant, or better yet, the soap?. To Englishmen: So, is it true that if Englishmen are not introduced properly they wouldn't talk to each other? To the German: "So is it true that Germans are actually robots? Can I pinch you? I'm sorry, have to make sure..."

I'll tell what I also hate about Erasmus parties. Pictures. I hate taking pictures. Unless you've been my friend since I was still wearing a diper or at least you learnt how to smoke hidden behind some dumpster with me, get that camera away from me. "But this picture, I will cherish it forever and ever until I'm dead and burried" "Well, if don't step aside, I swear I'll come and dig you up and I'll bitch-slap you until youre dead again!"

Well, thank you very much ladies and gentelmen and good night, have nice trip home, hope you enjoyed the show :))
Mwaaah